For Goodness Sake, Say What You Mean….

Posted: January 8, 2014 in Uncategorized

There are different types of people in the world. This is evident in a lot of areas in life, including the way various people communicate. Some say things directly and often come across as untactful. Others are more deferential and offer hints or suggestions rather than speaking forthrightly. Understanding which type of person you are, and which type those around you are, could significantly improve relationships. Malcom Gladwell discusses such notions (mitigated speech) in his book, Outliers. Andy Naselli offers a few thoughts on the issue on his blog. You can follow the link to Andy’s discussion and see what he says.

The only thing that I would add is that just because a person is prone to being direct v.s indirect doesn’t mean it is always helpful or right to do so. Conversely, just because a person is prone to be indirect vs. direct doesn’t mean that this is always the best way to communicate. The person who is usually straight to the point, or blunt, often fails to take into consideration the person with whom they are communicating. If that type of communication comes across as untactful, even hurtful, then putting aside your tendency to communicate more directly certainly seems to be a loving thing to do. In this manner, perhaps we are putting our self aside, our desire to speak in a certain way, and thinking more thoughtfully of the other person. At the same time, for the person who is always speaking indirectly, or beating around the bush, it may be more loving to put aside the indirectness and be more direct with a person who appreciates this type of communication. Being direct with a direct person may save them from frustration in the midst of your communication.

So, don’t always be direct and come off as a jerk and don’t always be indirect and come across as a person who can’t say what they mean! For goodness sake, say what you mean…and do it in a way that says you love the person to whom you are saying it.

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